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Me, watching Pokemon The Series: XY Mega Mega Meowth Madness

Macarons? They’re macarOONS. 

Sexy professor time. 

Seriously? Neither of these educated scientists are going to correct her pronunciation of the word macaroon? 

The internet was right. Team Rocket’s really into bondage here in Kalos. 

They have a Team Rocket symbol on the side of their secret kidnap truck? 

Yes, the one adult should go for the authorities and let the pair of ten year olds go after the kidnappers. 

Aw, Bonnie’s going to use a Pokemon mov- dammit, Dedenne! 

Anyone gonna point out that Meowth can’t mega-evolve because it has to evolve into Persian first? And Persian doesn’t even have a mega-evolution that we know of? 

Ha ha, Clemont’s out of shape. 

Clemont’s dad sees only his son, not his young daughter, running (which, because of the previously mentioned out of shape thing, is a big deal) and hears that something terrible has happened, and doesn’t join the chase? 

Chespin loves macarons. Dammit, now I’m doing it! 

Ah, so Clemont is getting the Chespin. I thought so. 

Yes, Clemont. This is the perfect time to have a macaron (dammit!). Fatty. *looks down and realizes I’m eating a bowl of ice cream* *laughs at my own hypocrisy and decides to give Clemont this one* 

Oh yeah, Clemont’s dad is the mega-Blaziken trainer. 

None left for Chespin? He already ate like ninety percent of them. 

Oh, you just happen to have Chespin’s pokeball on your person? Really, sexy professor? 

Yes, science catchphrase! 

You did not catch that Chespin, liar. It chose you. 

I recently cut my hair, which led to the following conversation

  • Dad:

    Wow, that's a big change.

  • Me:


  • Dad:

    You like it?

  • Me:

    I do. It'll just take a while to get used to it.

  • Dad:

    And it's much less time to care for.

  • Me:

    Yeah, well, it's not like I spent much time on it in the first place.

  • Dad:

    Yeah, but I mean, all those... all that time under the hair drier with the hot rollers? That would have... that must have taken half your life.

  • Me:

    Mom, I think Dad's still living in the fifties.

  • Mom:

    *looks up from phone* Your rap name is Crispy Sparkles.

A Tip:

If you are the person who made plans in the first place, assume said plans are still happening. 

Don’t cancel them and make me text and try to call you multiple times to figure out what’s going on. 

If I ask you “So aren’t we going?” don’t respond with “Oh, you still want to do that?” 

If something comes up and you have to cancel, let me know ASAP. No, I don’t have anything better to do because I have no life, but you’ll at least spare me from sitting around all day putting off any little thing because I’m waiting for you. 

My mom recently bought a fuzzy pink-and-white striped sweater that she’s absolutely in love with. It looks okay, but sort of dorky, like when your grandma dresses like a little girl (because all grandmas are contractually obligated to dress like little girls at least fifty percent of the time). 

Today I was rereading part of a story I wrote months ago, and I described the exact sweater my mom bought in context of something a grandma wears when she dresses like a little girl. 

I do not have the heart to tell my mother. 

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